How to overcome your fears and doubts
During last week’s first webinar for the 90 day challenge, our training was all about mindset and positivity. I made a comment in the chat box about my feelings about mindset and, more to the point, a quick mention of how bad my mental state was going back a little over 3 years ago.
I was encouraged to write a blog post about my take on mindset so I thought I’d put this together. It is a huge subject for me and I’m probably going to write a few blog posts about the subject because it is vital to have your mentality in the right place for business.
For this blog post I want to cover four mind strategies that you can use. Four tactics that work for me at anytime. I can almost instantly change my mindset FROM negativity that can sneak up on you at any time – especially if you have a history of depression or anxiety – TO positive thoughts and relief from feeling negative.
These are the points I’ll be covering in this post:
- Avoiding getting overwhelmed and why this is so important when setting goals.
- Remember all your achievements in life, no matter how small you think they were.
- Remembering all the things you discovered as you grew into an adult – things that excited you.
- Adding emotions and physicality to your thoughts to truely bring them to life.
Avoiding being overwhelmed
When I get up in the morning and sort out breakfast for myself and my daughter I will always have 5 minutes to think about what I have to do that day. Inevitably I split these things into the essentials such as, school runs, shopping, the day job, washing up ect. For most of us, these are things that are on autopilot. But quite often, these are the things that we might use to allow procrastination or to skip our online work. We hit a brick wall when we feel overwhelmed – when we feel that there aren’t enough hours in the day and all the excuses come out.
I will write a list in my pad or on my white board of 5 key areas for that day. Anymore than 5 things can be overwhelming for most people. Instead of itemising every single thing that I have to, I will do the following:
- School runs and pick up anything I need from the store/shop on the way or way back.
- Day job
- Clear house jobs including washing up, laundry, throw out recycling and do reading/homework with Millie-Grace.
- Check emails, social media messages and statuses, friends requests, new followers, leads.
- Complete today’s 90 day challenge jobs and assignments.
Now that is just the way I personally group everything together in a way that makes sense for me. You may all be different and group things in a different order. Whatever works for you. Just don’t end up with a list of 6-15 things to do on your list because if you don’t get it all done you will feel bad or even guilty. If you get into the habit of doing this then you’ll just never get anything done and your business will just not take off.
The feeling you WILL get used to everyday is that you will achieve all your goals, and you’ll start to set tougher goals along the way and you’ll achieve it because it’s what you do. So it’s very important to stop overwhelming yourself.
Remember your life’s achievements so far
This is a really powerful strategy to use if you do this properly and it doesn’t have to be anything like you conquered mount Everest when you were 10! Once I started this exercise I couldn’t stop writing things down and to other people it wouldn’t have been particularly significant, but to me it meant the world. I wasn’t a big achiever at school but I remember being in the school basketball team. I loved playing basketball and I practiced a lot. But, my problem was stage fright and when it came to the games I often went missing during the game. My technique went out of the window and passes went astray. It wasn’t good!
But then one day, it all came together. I scored a two pointer early on and I felt ten feet tall. My team mates all wanted me to have the ball because I began to make things happen. I made different plays, hit passes that stuck and set up many points for my team mates. I walked away with the man-of-the-match and I will never forget that feeling afterwards when guys who often shook their head in disappointment at me, were now full of respect. This was just an under 14’s school match in a small town in England. It wasn’t a national or county game. We didn’t have a crowd or audience there. Did I care? I wouldn’t have noticed them anyway, I was in the zone and I hold that emotion close to me if I feel like I’m being rubbish or if my self-respect takes a hike.
Your life achievements don’t have to be trophy laden or attached to certificates. Have an emotional attachment to when you really felt valuable in your own heart and soul.
Remembering your discoveries.
I was a vinyl record junkie when I grew up and I used to work for my parents for that all important £2.50 on Tuesdays. My parents got paid on Mondays so I got my “wages” on Tuesday. I was 11 at the time and my dad would hand over the readies and I would literally run down to “Mr.Dobbs record store” In town and spend the next two hours filling through the singles and albums. I would choose my purchase very carefully and carefully carry it home. The feeling I got when putting the needle on the record still excites me today. I loved discovering new music and bands but it was the artwork and sleeve notes on the record covers that excited me. It made me feel like it was a personal present from the band or artist themselves. It’s funny how we attach emotions to ourselves at that early age. I use this particular emotion to remind myself that there are things in life that we love and we should go back to. Write a list now of things that excited you while you were a teenager and also write down how it makes you feel to look back.
Imagine yourself actually achieving your goals.
Adding emotion and physicality to your thoughts and dreams is very powerful. One of my goals is to go on safari in Africa one day and I will do it. I imagine the flight and the arrival to the airport. I love the airport and flying. It’s just an amazing but weird experience! I run through my mind how it might feel to look out over Africa as we descend.
I try to imagine being sat in the back of a jeep while our guide takes us across safari. Then I imagine planting a kiss on my daughter’s forehead as we watch wild animals in their own habitat in Africa. Do you see how descriptive this is? Can you see how I have gone through all of this future experience from the arrival to the airport to the actual experience of seeing animals on safari in Africa? It is so powerful and it makes it obtainable and achievable. It’s really just a holiday with a price tag and I just have to achieve that price tag. I have also taken the ‘Overwhelm’ out of it to see it as a task to perform.
I hope this helped you in some way, shape or form. Mindset is incredibly important and I believe it contributes to about 95% of how I go about my life. All the How-to’s and step by step guides won’t matter in the slightest if you do not believe in yourself or have faith. It just won’t matter.
If you would like to discuss any of the issues or points in How to overcome your fears and doubts then do not hesitate to contact me on email@example.com or through the form in the contact page.
Your friend, Adrian
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